Xmas Sonnet

[johnwatts05]

A “Christmas Sonnet”



The morning shines pristine and crystal pure.

Ice fans invade across the lattice panes

framing the golden rays and clear azure

that gild the snow clad hills and country lanes



Cold is shut out as fires are kept ablaze

on this fine day when work and wear are still

for those who keep warm, safe in festive haze

and those with winter arts that claim their skill



So fur clad youth go muffed to romp on ice,

bombs of snow are thrown from every side

till oven hot pies and spiced wine entice

Crafters from snowmen and racers from slide



Delight for those within life's carefree prime

and old ones now returning to that time.



12 .12. 13 J Watts





Christmas Morning -- A Sonnet



Ice fans laced upon lattice panes

frame sun rise in a bright azure.

Snow hills and misty moor ordains

the morning gold, cold, crystal pure.



Ice fans laced upon lattice panes

frame sun rise held in bright azure.

morning gold's, cold glory ordains.

Hill and moor in bright snow allure.



Winter's shut out, fires kept ablaze

this holy day as mammon lies still.

Now all will rest in the festive haze

or test of their winter sporting skill.



Fur muffed youth gavort on the ice

snow bomb's fly from side to side

till hot pies and spiced wine entice

snow builders and those who slide.



Full delight for all of carefree prime

and old ones re-turning to that time.



1 12 14 J Watts



NOTE I am working on Autumn

but in meantime attach Sonnet I recently rewrote

would be interseted to have views on both

[Richard Kefford]

Hi John

Glad all went well with the registration etc. Welcome!

I understand why you deleted the first verse of the second version, but I prefer the first version.

It is a nice poem in sonnet form and keeps well to Shakespeare's English iambic pentameter.The rhyme scheme is good and consistent and the final two lines summarise nicely the theme of the poem, framing life. There are some great descriptions - I especially like the first verse with the ice fans framing the colours of the morning.

I like it! Thank you.

[kayqt]

Hi John. Welcome to our new forum! Glad you made it through the registration okay.

I must point out at this juncture that I am not a poet and have never studied poetry, so my feedback will always be based upon how your poems make me feel rather than their technicalities.

And your poem made me feel very nostalgic. I liked both versions but like Richard, I think I preferred the first, it seemed easier on the eye and smoother to read somehow. (There you go, that demonstrates the depths of my poetic knowledge!) I'm left with memories of snowy scenes, wintry games and the welcome return to mulled wine and a freshly baked mince pie. The ice fans was a lovely image and the sun's rays gilding the frozen landscape was beautiful. Crumbs, I'm feeling all Christmassy now!

Thank you for sharing it with us.
(I'm working on an Autumn piece. I've written and abandoned two, now thinking about the third time lucky version! Sadly this seems to be standard practice for me.)