Post by michael on Jun 3, 2015 20:35:41 GMT
Fit for Purpose
Mike Statham
There are those who take fitness to extraordinary lengths. Exercises each morning; a run every night and definitely no smoking or drinking. Is it a sense of achievement or a form of vanity? It depends on from which direction you view it.
Vince Walcott was definitely one of the “I’m going to be fitter than anyone else” school. It was a regime he had continued ever since leaving the Army. He didn’t smoke or drink, he went for a run most days and he even had an exercise machine in his bedroom. He rejected ownership of a car, preferring to rely on either his legs, his bicycle or, if he had shopping to contend with, the bus as his mode of locomotion. And he was proud of himself.
He was particular on what he ate. No fats or sugar and plenty of fruit and vegetables. Not that he was a vegetarian; he liked meat on the grounds that it was a good source of protein and promoted stamina. But he was fussy on the type of meat.
One day he was in the butcher’s shop with the intention of buying something tasty for his supper. “I fancy a piece of steak, not too big; about 10/12 oz. and just a little bit of fat to give it flavour” he told the butcher.
“I’ve got a nice bit of sirloin here” the butcher replied, “You can’t go wrong with sirloin. It’s what athletes train on”.
“That is what I’ll have then” Vince said. “I aim to keep myself fit. How old would you reckon I am?”
The butcher looked him over: greying a bit at the temples, lines appearing around the eyes and the mouth but a slim and upright figure. Middle aged? “I would say around 45” hazarded the butcher.
“I’m 53” announced Vince proudly. “I try to keep myself in shape by healthy living”.
2.
He paid the butcher and left the shop to continue with the rest of his shopping. Later, he made his way to the bus stop, weighed down by a full shopping bag. A mature, grey haired lady was already there.
“Waiting for the no. 27, are you?” Vince asked by way of introduction.
“No, the 16A, actually” she replied and continued humming a little tune.
“You sound very happy” Vince commented. “That’s nice”.
“It’s my birthday today, that’s why I’m so cheerful” she confided.
“Well, many happy returns” said Vince. “Is it any special birthday?”
“I’m 75 today” she proudly announced.
“That is amazing” said Vince. “I wouldn’t have thought you anywhere near that age. How old would you think I am?”
She looked Vince up and down quizzically. “Hmm; there are a number of conflicting conditions to assess. Would it be alright if I put my hand down your trousers for a moment?” Vince was rather taken aback by this request, but there was nobody else around and the bus was nowhere in sight so he agreed, purely to aid the investigation of course.
His new found friend inserted her arm up to the elbow. “I must be careful with my wedding ring” she commented.
“Why? Is it sharp?” Vince wanted to know. “No, It’s just that I don’t want to loose it” was the answer. After a few “Ooh, aha’s and uh-hums” she withdrew her arm, looked Vince in the eye and announced “You are 53 years old”.
“You are dead right! That is amazing!” admitted Vince. “And you can tell that by feeling inside my trousers ?”
“No. I was stood behind you in the butcher’s. Ah, here comes my bus. Nice to meet you”.
Mike Statham
There are those who take fitness to extraordinary lengths. Exercises each morning; a run every night and definitely no smoking or drinking. Is it a sense of achievement or a form of vanity? It depends on from which direction you view it.
Vince Walcott was definitely one of the “I’m going to be fitter than anyone else” school. It was a regime he had continued ever since leaving the Army. He didn’t smoke or drink, he went for a run most days and he even had an exercise machine in his bedroom. He rejected ownership of a car, preferring to rely on either his legs, his bicycle or, if he had shopping to contend with, the bus as his mode of locomotion. And he was proud of himself.
He was particular on what he ate. No fats or sugar and plenty of fruit and vegetables. Not that he was a vegetarian; he liked meat on the grounds that it was a good source of protein and promoted stamina. But he was fussy on the type of meat.
One day he was in the butcher’s shop with the intention of buying something tasty for his supper. “I fancy a piece of steak, not too big; about 10/12 oz. and just a little bit of fat to give it flavour” he told the butcher.
“I’ve got a nice bit of sirloin here” the butcher replied, “You can’t go wrong with sirloin. It’s what athletes train on”.
“That is what I’ll have then” Vince said. “I aim to keep myself fit. How old would you reckon I am?”
The butcher looked him over: greying a bit at the temples, lines appearing around the eyes and the mouth but a slim and upright figure. Middle aged? “I would say around 45” hazarded the butcher.
“I’m 53” announced Vince proudly. “I try to keep myself in shape by healthy living”.
2.
He paid the butcher and left the shop to continue with the rest of his shopping. Later, he made his way to the bus stop, weighed down by a full shopping bag. A mature, grey haired lady was already there.
“Waiting for the no. 27, are you?” Vince asked by way of introduction.
“No, the 16A, actually” she replied and continued humming a little tune.
“You sound very happy” Vince commented. “That’s nice”.
“It’s my birthday today, that’s why I’m so cheerful” she confided.
“Well, many happy returns” said Vince. “Is it any special birthday?”
“I’m 75 today” she proudly announced.
“That is amazing” said Vince. “I wouldn’t have thought you anywhere near that age. How old would you think I am?”
She looked Vince up and down quizzically. “Hmm; there are a number of conflicting conditions to assess. Would it be alright if I put my hand down your trousers for a moment?” Vince was rather taken aback by this request, but there was nobody else around and the bus was nowhere in sight so he agreed, purely to aid the investigation of course.
His new found friend inserted her arm up to the elbow. “I must be careful with my wedding ring” she commented.
“Why? Is it sharp?” Vince wanted to know. “No, It’s just that I don’t want to loose it” was the answer. After a few “Ooh, aha’s and uh-hums” she withdrew her arm, looked Vince in the eye and announced “You are 53 years old”.
“You are dead right! That is amazing!” admitted Vince. “And you can tell that by feeling inside my trousers ?”
“No. I was stood behind you in the butcher’s. Ah, here comes my bus. Nice to meet you”.